Goodbye February, Hello Obnoxious Heat

It is officially the last day in February! I think it s pretty cool. There is a bird singing outside my window... ok actually it is more like a random high pitched squeal and it is a good bit annoying. I want to squash it with a hammer. HA that would prank that bird good.

There is a German intern in our house this week. He will be in town for six weeks, but he is only with us for the first one I believe. And he is in the guest room not my room like marcus was, so that is pretty cool.

In celebration of Jeremiah's birthday we are taking a trip to Sam Ash in Clearwater. That should be pretty exciting. I like music. Tomorrow maybe the strawberry festival? I've never been, but it's gotta be pretty fun right. I love strawberries. :) I better get to eat some or I will be disappointed. I will probably cry hysterically and prank somebody by beating them up and taking all there money. They'd never see it coming. Hilarious.

Purpose Behind Our Love

I read today a scripture in the Bible where paul said The more I love you, the less you seem to love me, or something like that. That line really stuck out to me. It is just so contrary to what you would normally expect someone to say.

He had just finished telling the church of corinth that the last time he had visited them, he had been a financial burden to them, and he apologized for that. He said that it was not the responsibility of the child to provide for the parents, but the parents to provide for the child. HE realized that as the teacher it was his responsibility to pour himself into the people he was ministering to.  To give of himself until there was nothing left. To serve them with everything inside of himself. He said the more he did this, the more he loved them, the less love they offered to him in return.

Why does that seem so odd to us. It just illustrates the difference between human love and the love of God. Human love, expects something in return for the love we give-- but the love we find in Christ offers itself freely with no expectation of return or reward. To really have the love of God means to serve willingly, without recognition and without reward. Our purpose is so that others may see Christ. Nothing more.

Did Someone You Know Poison Me?

Two O' Clock yesterday afternoon I started feeling different. By four I could barely move. The aches, the chills, the sweats. Today I am feeling better. But still iffy to be sure. I am hoping to be back in full swing by tomorrow, or Sunday at the latest, cause I don't have a choice.

I haven't done much with music lately. Busy + Uninspired. Soon though I will get back into what I love.

Have you ever taken huge strides forward in life, and then seemingly taken equally huge strides backward? Choices mixed with whatever amount of will power we have lead to success. But what if you don't have any will power? Where do you get will power? Perhaps will power comes from the thing we desire most. If you desire God the most, then your decisions will be the ones that get you closer to God. If you desire earthly things, then your decisions will reflect that as well. Perhaps if you want more will power, you must find a way to stir up desires within yourself. 

It is all about choices.

Avalanche!

I've just returned from our winter retreat "avalanche". I feel like it was the best retreat we've ever had. Josh Mayo did an incredible job. I'm not sure I can put my finger on why it was so amazing. It wasn't because the services were the best I've ever experienced. It wasn't because God did amazing things in the alter. There didn't seem to be some emotional hype thing going on. It just felt like the kids were genuinely going after God. Like they are developing a sincere passion to pursue God. Finally understanding what it means to chase after God. To live for God. I feel like the kids at that retreat, understand and are truly ready to live out the Christian life. The thing that blessed me the most, was the large group of kids that wanted nothing more than to just pray after the service. They weren't just goofing around playing games. There was serious conversations all the way up to bed time. IT really felt like they are growing into spiritual maturity, not just some shallow hype. I would label this the best retreat I've ever been a part of.

Feeding Frenzy

Rather I feel like it or not, rather I would constantly admit it or not, I am in a place of ministry. As a small group leader and a part of the worship team.

What is ministry? Imparting oneself to others. Showing them how to live. More importantly they are getting their spiritual nourishment through you. Feeding on you. Depleting your nourishment. Which means you have to continually be filling up with greater spiritual depth to supply them with greater nourishment.

What does that mean to me? I've always been one of the people to get nourishment from other sources instead of seeking it out myself. I feel like lately it hasn't been enough for me. Especially finding myself at a higher level of leadership. The only way to stay full is to feed in the word of God myself. OR else I will wither and die.

That might sound bleak, but I think a great number of people in ministry fall because they are depending on other sources for their strength rather than plugging in directly to the word of God. Prayer isn't enough. You have to get into the Bible and grow.

Step One: The Shave

I just finished another meeting of The Knock-offs! We broke into teams and made hilarious videos, one of which a stalked was taking people, and the other was just a huge drama unfolding. IT was a pretty fun meeting.

Marcus hooked UP the youth drum set, it has five toms, all new symbols, and it is in tune. It sounds HOT!!

I shaved today. One step at a time moving forward right?

The past few days I have had a wide range of mental states. I've been the happiest I've been in months, and I've been the most apathetic ready to give up as ever. I hopefully am starting to find my footing again. Today I shaved. Tomorrow I will organize my music book. Then maybe an actual haircut? Finally job.

Retreat this weekend, gonna be amazing. AVALANCHE!!! 

Musings of the Manic and Crazy

It is official. My American History class is full of crazies. Obviously the teacher is a nut job, as I have previously mentioned, who backs into the wall and talks about the vortex in brooksville. But Lately he has made several references to people being beheaded. There is also a girl in the class who I am pretty sure is a cannibal. There is a guy who talks to himself on a daily basis. And of course there is a humorous gay guy who asks awkward questions. He isn't so crazy except that he talks on a nonstop basis. I suppose I am crazy as well. I'm probably that kid who drums to himself...

I'm playing drums tonight so I was trying to go through the songs in my head during class-- beats listening to the ramblings of putsis.

So I sit at the church preparing for tonight's service, eating twizzlers and listening to the musings of Jon Foreman, whom I love rather he is singing with switchfoot, fiction family, or his solo stuff. My sister is doing math on the computer.

Now we are discussing literature. Child by Tiger.

The End.

Parking Lots, All The Kids Are Doing it.

The topic of my research paper is due today. A whole paragraph on what I plan to write about. Once again I make up something amazing at the last minute... that took about 3 minutes.

I've been spending a lot of time in parking lots lately. Apparently after church we don't even need a restaurant anymore. Let's just hit the drive through of taco bell and hang out in the parking lot. Genius. Or lame. I haven't decided which yet. And last night it was definitely right to play hawk nelson and practice our bizarre form of dancing in the parking lot of steak and shake. Soli, Allyssa, Myself, and even Trey pulled out some amazing moves. Much better than the superbowl. Trey kidnapped Allyssa's baby. Took it into the bathroom. I'm going to miss Farquad Francis now that Allyssa has to give it back to the british mexican family she stole it from.

The post super bowl episode of the office. Funniest thing I have seen in 2009. Hands down. No competition. Soli even thought it was funny. Either that or she was punking me. Sometimes hard to tell.

Today will be awesome. That is all.